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I’m Just Sayin’…

June 16, 2010

The best birth control ever invented is someone’s bratty toddler throwing a tantrum in public

If your child’s bicycle helmet is loose enough to perch jauntily on the side of his head like a drunken sailor’s cap it will NOT protect his brain in the event of an accident

Forcing a winning kids’ soccer team to tone down their efforts on the field by threatening them with a default loss will NOT teach the losers how to be winners (Win a Game by more than Five Points and You Lose)

For a short period of time during our high school senior year, a good friend of mine drove a flesh-colored Ford Pinto with a lavender paisley roof…I kid you not

Some of the things my children do which I find most irritating happen to be reflections of my own personality shortcomings (where’s Freud when you need him?)

I really did turn into my mom – thank goodness 🙂

Life would be so much easier if I had my own personal administrative assistant

I miss snail-mail (there’s nothing like being pleasantly surprised by a card in your mailbox)

Sometimes I would give anything just to relive a week in my early 20’s; post-college, pre-marriage & kids

If your tween daughter’s shorts/pants have something emblazoned across the posterior, people will stare at her fanny

If you buy your high-schooler a brand new Beamer or equally fabulous sports car you can put money on the fact that he’ll speed & drive irresponsibly (Favorite P.J. O’Rourke quote:  “Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys”)

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